I purchased Kelly Clarkson�s latest album yesterday (there are monthly quotas one must meet to retain his gay card). At first listen, I�m pretty pleased.

After spilling my gladware-full of seasoned ground turkey meat all over the sisal kitchen rug (the kitchen, by the way, isn�t the best place for a sisal rug), I decided my regular vacuum could serve as a Shop-Vac. As if I were vacuuming hair or random fallen Apple-Jacks, I used the hose/wand attachment to remove the moist, salty ground meat chunks. Afterwards, the clear plastic container resembled one of those �make your own sand creation� kits from a cart in the mall� with the various layers of colors � an inch of plant dirt, a layer of haircut hair, miscellaneous dust and lint, and finally some brown, wet meat. Try to find that at The Discovery Store.

My Starbucks addiction is still going strong� thanks in part to the cloud of sun-sucking crap hovering over the city. Vanilla iced lattes are my sunshine in a cup. Granted, 3-4 dollars a day stings the wallet, but I further justify it by the hot guy with the bushy hair personalizing it by writing my name on it each day.

Sunshine and a hot guy askin� for my name? Way worth 4 bucks. How awesome would it be if he wrote it in bubble letters, or those old-school, dot-letters.

Had a date this weekend. Kinda a last minute deal really. Met offline, had drinks, played pool and darts, blah, blah. We�re supposed to go to dinner Tuesday night. Ho hum.

At the gym last week, there was a guy � probably around 19-20 � new to working out, had a trainer showing him some things. Anyway� while he was doing some ab work with one of those giant balls (teehee), I overheard him eagerly boasting to the trainer about how he was the best balancer in high school. �Yep, out of about 40 guys, I always had the best balance.� I�m not sure what activity he was involved in that required these mad balancing skills, or how he knew he was the �best balancer� out of 40 guys� but it cracked me up. �Good balancer� sounds like one of those qualities you point out about someone who isn�t all that attractive when you�re trying to fix them up with a friend. �Oh, yeah� you�ll like this guy� he has a good personality, has a really good job and is a great balancer! Best in his high school, actually.�

Don�t get me wrong, I wasn�t cool in high school or anything� I was president of our choir for a couple years. That was my only contribution. Like his balancing, that was important to me at the time, and I�m sure � actually I know I thought I was cool and it was more important than it was. So good for him for having something to be proud of, I guess.

Today begins my last week aboard the S.S. Suck. I�ll probably get caught up on paying some bills, burning some CDs and online window shopping with my new paycheck in mind.