11/12/2004
'Ole Freckle-eye
It's two-for-one day at The Texan.
I went to the eye doctor a couple weeks ago, and he took photos of the insides of my eyes. One of them had what he called a "freckle" on it. More or less it's a hyperpigmented spot on my retina. He said it was nothing to worry about, since it was completely flat... but of course in all my years of hypochondria, I began picturing myself with a patch... or one of those fold-out canes... or making phone calls to my local county official to insist upon audible crosswalk signals in my neighborhood. Or trying to feel my way through a crowded bar (eww). I've also researched careers for the blind -- given that I would hardly be an effective web designer without sight.
Then I started thinking about what it would be like to date a 'person without sight' (that's what they prefer to be called)... Or to be a person without sight trying to date. All of the sudden all those "but he has a good personality" guys would be back in the running, I guess.
Just for fun, here are some of the medical problems I'd self diagnosed:
It's ironic... my imagination is what makes me good at my job... but it's so strong that it has the ability to convince me that I'm having symptoms I may not even have.
I went to the eye doctor a couple weeks ago, and he took photos of the insides of my eyes. One of them had what he called a "freckle" on it. More or less it's a hyperpigmented spot on my retina. He said it was nothing to worry about, since it was completely flat... but of course in all my years of hypochondria, I began picturing myself with a patch... or one of those fold-out canes... or making phone calls to my local county official to insist upon audible crosswalk signals in my neighborhood. Or trying to feel my way through a crowded bar (eww). I've also researched careers for the blind -- given that I would hardly be an effective web designer without sight.
Then I started thinking about what it would be like to date a 'person without sight' (that's what they prefer to be called)... Or to be a person without sight trying to date. All of the sudden all those "but he has a good personality" guys would be back in the running, I guess.
Just for fun, here are some of the medical problems I'd self diagnosed:
- Jaw Cancer / or TMJ (turned out to be a bacterial infection in a hair folicle caused by shaving)
- Pelvic Bone or Testicular Cancer(my back was just out of alignment a nerve had some pressure on it)
- Breast Cancer (I had a rash on my chest, and was convinced it was an early sign of male breast cancer -- EXTREMELY rare, by the way)
- And everyone's favorite... 'Rush Limbaugh Disease'. I was convinced I was spontaneously losing my hearing. After budgeting for hearing aids and sign language classes, the Dr's diagnosis of sinus congestion proved true.
It's ironic... my imagination is what makes me good at my job... but it's so strong that it has the ability to convince me that I'm having symptoms I may not even have.
Anyway... there actually IS something quirky going on with my vision, so I'll be heading back for another visit soon.
So if you get groped at a bar this weekend, don't be so insensitive. The groper may have a detached retina, cataracts... or worse... an eye freckle.
