So my optimism for the weekend was a little extreme, although it was indeed a nice couple of days.

I left a message for Sexy McNumbers late Friday afternoon. His phone immediately went to voicemail� as if it was off, or out of power. By Sunday afternoon, I still hadn�t heard back, so I decided to place the �last-chance-maybe-something-happened-and-he-didn�t-get-the-message-benefit-of-the-doubt� call. Understanding that if I didn�t receive a call back after this, that he viewed giving me his number as a drunken misjudgment. I�m getting the hang of this disappointment thing, so I�m somewhat okay with that. Anyway� so I called Sunday afternoon, only for it to again immediately go to voice mail. Didn�t even ring once. I chose not to leave a message this time. I think that�s weird� if he wanted to screen it, he could�ve� but this implies technical difficulties, right? Should I wait a week and try one last time? To double check? Or just let this die?

Friday. Oh Friday. After finding my way to the middle of nowhere, I arrived at the country club hosting my company�s Christmas party. Due to cheapness, we were only provided with 2 �drink tickets� rather than the open bar that accompanies most company Christmas parties. Literally, I used my 2 tickets within 10 minutes. Granted, the thimble-sized glasses didn�t hold much� I had no where to stand that didn�t look awkward, no one to talk to and nothing to talk about. The least I could do was put a buzz on. After agonizing for an hour (15 minutes of which were spent outside on the phone with best friend / support counselor Freaky Boo in Nashville) I could stand it no more. I socialized with my boss and his wife, two other people I�ve semi-worked with, and shook hands with our departing division manager, then left.
Honestly, I tried to maintain a positive, outgoing attitude, but couldn�t. I think it started with �You didn�t bring anyone??� Which in my head quickly translated to my favorite question, �Why are you single?� This then turned into �Oh, you�re living in the such-and-such area, right? There�re single women all over the place!� � prompting �Well, everyone seems to be paired up over there� as my reply. The older I get, the more awkward gay-dodging gets. FYI, if I had been dating someone, HE would�ve attended the party with me. No need to reveal my sexual orientation being dateless, though. The next question, most frequently asked, caused me to repeatedly fight a quivering lip� �How are you liking Dallas so far?� Being a horrible liar, but also trying to appear problem-less and happy, I replied with the usual �Well, so far, so good� but it�s slow-going, I guess {flash fake smile}.� By 8:30, my vodka-sodas had affected me negatively, so I said my goodbyes with obvious awkwardness and discomfort beaming from my face and half smile� I was allowed to go on my way. They didn�t spend but a couple moments trying to convince me to stay, as I believe they kind of understood my sense of displacement.
On my way back to town, listening to a particular Kim Richey song, Didn�t I, I began (AGAIN) thinking of my failed dating attempt with The Heartbreaker and getting all last-10-minutes-of-extreme-makeover-home-edition.

Things got better, though�
Later in the evening I had wine and watched The Thomas Crowne Affair and Margaret Cho with The Young Couple. We talked about a variety of things, and ended up feeling pretty comfortable around each other. It was a welcome change of mood.

Saturday
Cirque Du Soleil: Varekai was BAD ASS. Such an amazing ensemble of talent, creativity and skill. I�ve never seen anything quite like it. Highly recommended.

Saturday night I joined TYC and their friends for drinks and then a journey to JR�s. Half of TYC joined me for a quick walk around the bar, where we decided someone must�ve arrived before us, uncontrollably swinging the ugly-stick. I pointed out a guy I thought had �something sexy� about him, when Half TYC said, �You are so a 10 and he is such a 4.� Nevermind the superficial nature of the comment, it made me feel good. : )

Half TYC and I ended up leaving to grab some food while waiting on the rest of the gang to finish their stint at The Throckmorton Mining Company (TMC � yuck bar that we both hate). We had a great conversation, and my feelings of inadequacy and intimidation faded a little. Although expecations of the weekend were higher originally, I still had a nice time and made some progress with friendships. The Well-to-do-people party is this Thursday, where I will again pair with TYC to attend.