12/07/2004
Woe is me and all that. I got out of bed today, with use of both arms and legs, no medical afflictions (excluding some annoying eye floaters) and most likely a full life ahead. Enough whining.
This is a Thanksgiving story shared by a friend of mine yesterday. Here is her email:
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We went to Maine for Thanksgiving (where husband�s family lives).....very nice people, but everyone lives in trailers and if they don't, their floors are only plywood (no flooring) - I swear I am not lying!
Anyway, for Thanksgiving day - we went to husband�s grandparents and 19 people (oh YES), 19 people eat in the mobile home on card tables - it was very much NOT fun and CROWDED.
Prior to dinner, husband's grandfather went to the kitchen to sneak a snack (the snack was a celery stalk with cream cheese smeared in it and some nuts on top) - not my idea of a snack or even food I wish to eat together, but anyway....before eating it he leans it down to his dog (not sure what kind of dog, but very small and VERY yappy).....(SIDE NOTE - the dog's name is Brandy.....he is the third Brandy, because their dogs keep dying, but they keep getting the same breed and keep giving it the same DAMN name).....anyway, he leans the celery stalk down to Brandy and from where I am sitting, I just think he is showing it to the dog (I was obviously in denial)....and then he eats the celery stalk... husband�s brother kind of gags because he could see from where he was sitting that Grandpa let Brandy lick the stalk before promptly entering that same stalk into his mouth!!!! Then Brandy turns around to face me with the evidence of cream cheese on his doggy mustache!!!!!!! I gagged quietly.....but my eyes watered and I totally LOST my appetite....barely could eat the dry turkey and weird orange, mushy dish that was served on the card tables later.
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As a reminder, that story took place in MAINE� NOT Tennessee� or even any part of the south.
And thank god that my CD ran out of tunes just in time to overhear Spiderface's heroic story this morning. This was the "How I got the 911 award" story. Basically, a few years ago she witnessed suspicious activity outside a bank... so she called 911... then the FBI... they sent someone over to investigate... blah, blah... turns out these people weren't casing the bank, they were selling fake passports or drugs. Or something. I got bored mid-way through. When I heard the conclusion of "And that's how I got the 911 award", I was upset that I hadn't listened harder.
I hung out in the kitchen of After Dark with TYC last night. It was uneventful but easy. We shared coming out stories, thoughts on nieces and nephews, Christmas and everything else gay and mushy. I realized that I�m most likely going to grow closer to Half of The Young Couple than the other. This is pretty normal, but I have to make a conscious effort to include them BOTH in text messages (when relevant), always ask what �y�all� are doing, rather than �you,� etc. There�s a politically correct way of befriending couples, I�ve learned.
I�m anxiously awaiting the Well-to-do People�s Club Christmas party this Thursday. I need a dentist, physician and a boyfriend. � not necessarily in that order. Knowing how it is, if I go expecting to meet someone, I�ll be left disappointed. Daddy needs a little affection, that�s all I�m saying.
