So my optimism for the weekend was a little extreme, although it was indeed a nice couple of days.

I left a message for Sexy McNumbers late Friday afternoon. His phone immediately went to voicemail… as if it was off, or out of power. By Sunday afternoon, I still hadn’t heard back, so I decided to place the “last-chance-maybe-something-happened-and-he-didn’t-get-the-message-benefit-of-the-doubt” call. Understanding that if I didn’t receive a call back after this, that he viewed giving me his number as a drunken misjudgment. I’m getting the hang of this disappointment thing, so I’m somewhat okay with that. Anyway… so I called Sunday afternoon, only for it to again immediately go to voice mail. Didn’t even ring once. I chose not to leave a message this time. I think that’s weird… if he wanted to screen it, he could’ve… but this implies technical difficulties, right? Should I wait a week and try one last time? To double check? Or just let this die?

Friday. Oh Friday. After finding my way to the middle of nowhere, I arrived at the country club hosting my company’s Christmas party. Due to cheapness, we were only provided with 2 ‘drink tickets’ rather than the open bar that accompanies most company Christmas parties. Literally, I used my 2 tickets within 10 minutes. Granted, the thimble-sized glasses didn’t hold much… I had no where to stand that didn’t look awkward, no one to talk to and nothing to talk about. The least I could do was put a buzz on. After agonizing for an hour (15 minutes of which were spent outside on the phone with best friend / support counselor Freaky Boo in Nashville) I could stand it no more. I socialized with my boss and his wife, two other people I’ve semi-worked with, and shook hands with our departing division manager, then left.
Honestly, I tried to maintain a positive, outgoing attitude, but couldn’t. I think it started with “You didn’t bring anyone??” Which in my head quickly translated to my favorite question, “Why are you single?” This then turned into “Oh, you’re living in the such-and-such area, right? There’re single women all over the place!” – prompting “Well, everyone seems to be paired up over there” as my reply. The older I get, the more awkward gay-dodging gets. FYI, if I had been dating someone, HE would’ve attended the party with me. No need to reveal my sexual orientation being dateless, though. The next question, most frequently asked, caused me to repeatedly fight a quivering lip… “How are you liking Dallas so far?” Being a horrible liar, but also trying to appear problem-less and happy, I replied with the usual “Well, so far, so good… but it’s slow-going, I guess {flash fake smile}.” By 8:30, my vodka-sodas had affected me negatively, so I said my goodbyes with obvious awkwardness and discomfort beaming from my face and half smile… I was allowed to go on my way. They didn’t spend but a couple moments trying to convince me to stay, as I believe they kind of understood my sense of displacement.
On my way back to town, listening to a particular Kim Richey song, Didn’t I, I began (AGAIN) thinking of my failed dating attempt with The Heartbreaker and getting all last-10-minutes-of-extreme-makeover-home-edition.

Things got better, though…
Later in the evening I had wine and watched The Thomas Crowne Affair and Margaret Cho with The Young Couple. We talked about a variety of things, and ended up feeling pretty comfortable around each other. It was a welcome change of mood.

Saturday
Cirque Du Soleil: Varekai was BAD ASS. Such an amazing ensemble of talent, creativity and skill. I’ve never seen anything quite like it. Highly recommended.

Saturday night I joined TYC and their friends for drinks and then a journey to JR’s. Half of TYC joined me for a quick walk around the bar, where we decided someone must’ve arrived before us, uncontrollably swinging the ugly-stick. I pointed out a guy I thought had ‘something sexy’ about him, when Half TYC said, “You are so a 10 and he is such a 4.” Nevermind the superficial nature of the comment, it made me feel good. : )

Half TYC and I ended up leaving to grab some food while waiting on the rest of the gang to finish their stint at The Throckmorton Mining Company (TMC – yuck bar that we both hate). We had a great conversation, and my feelings of inadequacy and intimidation faded a little. Although expecations of the weekend were higher originally, I still had a nice time and made some progress with friendships. The Well-to-do-people party is this Thursday, where I will again pair with TYC to attend.