Greetings from the corporate Hindenburg. My interview went well Tuesday, however I’ve yet to hear back for what was supposedly an urgent position. I'm an impatient, nervous wreck. I’ll assume I’m not getting the job if I don’t hear back by tomorrow. After having a glimpse into what a cool, organized, packed-with-talent, innovative company looks like, this place is just that much more miserable.

While dining at the nearby sub shop last week, I saw a 40-year-old, overweight version of the old Pepsi girl.

We had a fire drill here yesterday. I’ve never quite experienced a company fire drill like ours. We walk down the four flights of stairs, cross the street (but only at the crosswalk), and have ‘roll’ taken in the parking lot. The embarrassing part is the department-appointed ‘Fire Marshall’ girl whom is a little Wal-Mart-stock-room-employee-esq. She has bad 80’s hair, highwaters, hightops and a growly-yet-pitchy lesbian-like yell. As we congregate in the parking lot, parallel to our faux burning building, she screams our names. Much like a 3rd grade field trip, we respond with “here” or “present.” It’s embarrassing when all of the other building tenants are watching and holding back their smirks… they’re smaller companies, law firms mainly, who are amused by our grade school event. I'm to that point where I'm beginning to get irritated with EVERY aspect of this place.

There’s a guy at work who keeps trying to buddy up with me… “Let’s go drink” or “Lets go work out together” or “We’re going to be working together quite a bit, so we should get to know eachother!” That’s all well and good, and I appreciate the gesture… but to talk about our future work plans would involve a lot of pretending to care, interest in my job, and lies regarding my seeking other employment. I just have to stall for a few more days. I hope.